Repository path: workshop/translations/karen/R10p-v1/translation.md · rendered 2026-09-09

T-karen-R10p-v1 — Kielland, «Karen» ¶1–15, target A-mansfield-garden-party

• Source. Alexander L. Kielland, «Karen» (1882), paragraphs 1–15 of 49 — ../source-unit.txt, 799 Norwegian words. Public domain, stored whole.
• Language pair. Dano-Norwegian → English.
• Regime. R10 v1.0 (anchored register target), lead, source only, single pass, no return pass.
• Target. A-mansfield-garden-party — the period-idiomatic register point — decomposed as claims M01–M11 in claims.json at ca602a7, frozen before the source was read for translation. Opportunity set 9 of 11, ../opportunity.md.
• Output. 950 English words.
• Cost. $0.
• Contamination: none, MEASURED — and the number is larger than the centre arm's, which is the pair's most useful by-product. Longest shared run with the Collier 1907 English (Leonora Teller, copyright 1898; corrected at S075) is 11 tokens — "to him at first it had been a friendly invitation to" — with 8 shared 7-grams (5 excluding names), 0 shared 12-grams. The centre arm, same translator, same source unit, same session, reads 5 tokens and 0 shared 7-grams. The published translation was not read before either text was frozen.
• Matched pair. T-karen-R10c-v1, same unit, same regime, target A-mchugh-presence. The centre arm was written first.
• Evaluation. E-20260731f-catalogue-reach. The lead does not judge this translation.

The translation

Once upon a time there was a girl at the Krarup Inn, and her name was Karen.

She did the waiting single-handed; for the innkeeper's wife was for ever going about after her keys. And a great many came to the Krarup Inn — folk from round about, who gathered as it grew dark of an autumn evening and sat in the tap-room over their coffee-punches, in a general way, with no particular end in view; but travellers too, and wayfarers, who came tramping in — blue and blown-through — for something hot that would keep the life in a man as far as the next inn.

But Karen could manage it all for that, though she went about so quietly and never seemed to be in any haste.

She was slight and small — quite young, grave and silent, so that there was no diversion in her for the commercial travellers. But sober folk, who came to the inn in earnest and who set store by having their coffee brought quick and scalding hot, they were the fonder of Karen for it. And when she slipped forward among the guests with her tray, the heavy homespun bodies drew aside with an unwonted quickness, way was made for her, and the talk went out for a moment — they must all look after her, she was so lovely.

Karen's eyes were of the great grey sort that seem at once to look at you and to look far — far beyond you; and the brows were arched high, as though in wonder.

Strangers thought, therefore, that she had not rightly understood what they asked for. But she understood well enough, and she never made a mistake. It was only that there was something strange about her for all that — as though she were looking far out after something — or listening — or waiting — or dreaming.

The wind came out of the west over the low flats. It had rolled long heavy seas the whole width of the West Sea; salt and drenched with foam and spume it had flung itself in upon the coast. But in the high dunes, among the long marram-grass, it had grown dry and full of sand and a little weary, so that when it came to the Krarup Inn it was as much as ever it could do to get the doors of the posting-stable open.

But up they flew, and the wind filled the great place and pressed in at the kitchen door, which stood ajar. And at last there came such a weight of air that the doors at the far end of the stable sprang open as well; and now the west wind went triumphing straight through, and swung the lantern that hung from the roof, and took the cap off the stable-lad and rolled it out into the dark, and blew the rugs over the heads of the horses, and blew a white hen down off her perch and into the water-trough. And the cock set up a fearful screeching, and the lad swore, and the hens shrieked, and in the kitchen they were smothered with smoke, and the horses grew restless and struck sparks from the stones; even the ducks, that had huddled close by the mangers to be first at the spilt corn, fell to quacking, and the wind went brawling through with a hubbub out of hell, till a couple of men came out from the tap-room and set their backs against the doors and pressed them to again, while the sparks flew into their beards out of the great tobacco pipes.

After these exploits the wind flung itself down into the heather, ran along the deep dykes, and took a right good hold of the mail-coach, which it fell in with a good two miles from the inn.

"It's a devil of a hurry he has, always, to be getting to the Krarup Inn," growled Anders the post-boy, and laid a smack across the sweating horses.

For it was surely the twentieth time that the mail-guard had let down the window to call something or other up to him. At first it had been a friendly invitation to a coffee-punch at the inn; but by degrees the friendliness wore thin, and the window came down with a slam, and out flew a few curt observations upon horse and driver alike, which Anders, at any rate, could by no means be the better for hearing.

Meanwhile the wind swept low along the ground and sighed so long and so strangely in the dry heather-bushes. It was full moon; but thick overcast, so that there lay no more than a whitish, misty glimmer over the night.

Behind the Krarup Inn the turf-moor lay dark, with its black turf-sheds and its deep, dangerous holes. And in among the heather-tussocks there wound a strip of grass, as though it might be a way; but it was no way, for it stopped short at the very lip of a turf-pit that was larger than the rest, and deeper too.

But in the strip of grass the fox lay quite flat and watched, and the hare went hopping on a light foot over the heather.

It was an easy calculation for the fox that the hare would not run a long ring so late in the evening. He put up his sharp snout with great care and made his reckoning; and as he slunk back down the wind, to find a good place from which he might see where the hare would close her ring and lie down, he reflected, with much complacency, upon how the foxes were for ever growing cleverer and the hares for ever stupider and stupider.

Translator's log

Written as the draft was written; frozen before any evaluation of this translation was designed. Codes are R10 §5. Proposition ids are claims.json M01–M11.

1. «Der var engang». Took the full formula, "Once upon a time", where the centre arm took "There was once". The whole difference between the two openings is one register decision, and it is the first sentence. A — M08.
2. The article on «Krarup Kro». Took "the Krarup Inn" throughout, where the centre arm dropped it. The definite article on a named inn is the period English habit. A — M08.
3. «Kaffepuncher». Took "coffee-punches", retained and hyphenated, where the centre arm wrote "coffee and brandy". A — M08. The word is period-marked, which is exactly what this target wants and exactly what the other target forbade; this is the pair's cleanest single divergence.
4. «blaa og forblaaste». Took "blue and blown-through", keeping the source's doubled root, where the centre arm dropped it for "wind-scoured". A — M06. The English doubling is laboured, and I kept it anyway because the target rewards the figure rather than the smoothness.
5. «for at faa sig noget varmt, der kunde holde Livet oppe til næste Kro». Took "something hot that would keep the life in a man as far as the next inn" — the life in a man is an idiom the source does not have (holde Livet oppe is "keep life up"), chosen for the period cadence. A — M05, M08. An addition of idiom, recorded as one.
6. «var for ever going about after her keys». For ever two words, the 1922 spelling. A — M08. Also the tense: the source's gik næsten altid omkring og ledte is habitual; "was for ever going about" is the period way to say it and the centre arm's "spent most of her time walking around" is the contemporary way.
7. «ingen Morskab». Took "no diversion" against the centre arm's "no fun". Diversion is period-marked and slightly Latinate. A — M08.
8. «skikkelige Folk … for Alvor». Took "sober folk, who came to the inn in earnest". Folk twice in the paragraph, in earnest rather than to drink. A — M08.
9. «veg … tilside med en uvanlig Fart». Took "drew aside with an unwonted quickness". Unwonted is the period word for uvanlig and is the single most archaic lexical choice in the piece. A — M08.
10. «alle maatte se efter hende, hun var saa nydelig». Took "they must all look after her, she was so lovely" — the comma splice kept, and must in the period sense of compulsion. This is the arm's clearest free-indirect moment: the judgment she was so lovely is the room's, carried in the narrator's grammar with no attribution. A — M01, M02.
11. «langt — langt forbi». Took "to look far — far beyond you", keeping the dash and the repetition. A — M06. The centre arm flattened it to "a long way past".
12. «ligesom i forundring». Took "as though in wonder" against the centre arm's "like she was surprised". Wonder is nearer the source. This is a place where the period target and accuracy agreed and the contemporary target had to give something up. A — M08.
13. ¶6's dash chain. Kept as one sentence with four dashes: "— or listening — or waiting — or dreaming." The centre arm broke it into four one-clause sentences. A — M03, M09. The source's own punctuation is the period target's here, which is worth noting: the two arms are not equidistant from the source on this decision.
14. «Vesterhavet». Took the calque "the West Sea" where the centre arm took "the North Sea". A period English translator would have calqued it. A — M08. Given up: a reader who does not know the sea is meant.
15. ¶8, the 163-word period. Kept as one sentence, and lengthened it — the source's chain of og-clauses became a chain of and-clauses with the conjunction repeated eleven times. Where the centre arm broke it into four sentences and opened with a two-word declarative, this arm runs it whole. A — M09. This is the largest structural difference between the two texts and the one a reader is most likely to see first.
16. «Hanen». Took "the cock" against the centre arm's "the rooster". A — M08.
17. «en Helvedes Allarm». Took "a hubbub out of hell". Hubbub is period; the oath is turned into a figure rather than left flat, which is the opposite of what the centre arm's C15 asked for. A — M08.
18. «Efter disse Meriter». Took "After these exploits" — the source's ironic Latinism kept as an English Latinism. The centre arm wrote "After that". A — M08.
19. «Grøfter». Took "dykes" against "ditches". Period and regional. A — M08.
20. «en halv Mils vei». Took "a good two miles". Same arithmetic as the centre arm — the Danish mil is 7.532 km — and the same refusal to gloss; only the intensifier differs. N.
21. «fandens Jav» and «knurrede». Took "It's a devil of a hurry he has, always, to be getting to the Krarup Inn," growled Anders the post-boy. The attributing verb kept as growled, where the centre arm's C08 forced said. A — M05, M08. The source's own verb survives in this arm and does not survive in the other.
22. «nogle kortfattede Bemærkninger … som Anders ialfald slet ikke kunde være tjent med at høre». Took "a few curt observations upon horse and driver alike, which Anders, at any rate, could by no means be the better for hearing." The periodic tail with the interposed at any rate is the period sentence shape. A — M09.
23. «sukkede saa langt og besynderligt». Took "sighed so long and so strangely", the intensifier doubled as in the source. A — M06.
24. «Torvmyren», «Torvskurer», «Torvgrav». Took "turf-moor", "turf-sheds", "turf-pit" against the centre arm's "peat bog", "peat sheds", "peat cutting". Turf for peat is the older British usage and is what the 1882 word says. A — M08.
25. «i Kanten af». Took "at the very lip of". The source says edge; lip is an addition. X — none of the propositions asked for it; recorded because it is the one place I reached for a figure the source does not have, and this arm's catalogue does not license figuration either.
26. «tænkte den selvbehagelig over». Took "reflected, with much complacency, upon" — the Latinate rendering the centre arm refused. A — M08.
27. «dummere og dummere». Took "stupider and stupider"; stupid rather than dumb, the doubling kept in both arms. A — M06, M08.
28. Contractions. Almost none in the narration: "it had been", "could by no means", "was not", "stopped short". X — M04, and this is the arm's one deliberate departure from its own target. A-mansfield-garden-party catalogues contraction as a default — "hadn't been as interesting as usual" — and I did not install it, because the same catalogue's M08 (period-dating detail) and M09 (periodic sentence architecture) pull toward a more formal narration and the three cannot all be maximised. A target catalogue can be internally in tension, and this is where this one was. Recorded before any evaluation.
29. M07 and M11 were on the frozen no-opportunity list and nothing was done to simulate them. The source spells no sound (it names the noises and spells none), and the unit is the story's opening, so it has no close for an irony to be sprung at.
30. Declared dialect. British throughout: grey, travellers, cock, towards, dykes. The two arms therefore differ in orthographic standard as well as in register, which is a confound between the arms and is declared here rather than discovered later: a rater could separate the two texts on grey/gray alone. It was not avoidable while executing both targets honestly — A-mansfield-garden-party is a 1922 British text and A-mchugh-presence is a 2005 American one — but it means the crossover cannot attribute a separation to register as against orthography without looking at which propositions carried it.