Repository path: workshop/translations/tolstyi-i-tonkii/R04-v1/translation.md · rendered 2026-09-09

T-tolstyi-i-tonkii-R04-v1 — Chekhov, «Толстый и тонкий» (1883), whole, close rendering

Source. As T-tolstyi-i-tonkii-R06-v1: ПСС 1975 text, 540 Russian words, 17 paragraphs, read whole in Russian.

Regime. R04 — draft then self-revision against the source in the same session. The draft is T-tolstyi-i-tonkii-R06-v1, committed at 9dcf063 before this revision began (R04 §2a). Cost $0.

Contamination: suspected, with the four-sentence Garnett narration exposure declared on the R06 artifact. Measured after freezing — see §Contamination measurement below.

The translation

At the Nikolaevsky railway station two friends met: one fat, one thin. The fat one had just dined at the station, and his lips, filmed with butter, shone like ripe cherries. He smelt of sherry and fleur d'orange. The thin one had only just got out of the carriage and was loaded down with trunks, bundles and hatboxes. He smelt of ham and coffee grounds. From behind his back there peered a thin little woman with a long chin — his wife — and a tall schoolboy with one eye screwed up — his son.

— Porfiry! — cried the fat one, catching sight of the thin one. — Is it you? My dear fellow! How many winters, how many years!

— Saints above! — the thin one gasped. — Misha! Friend of my childhood! Where have you sprung from?

The friends kissed each other three times and turned upon each other eyes full of tears. Both were pleasantly stunned.

— My dear man! — began the thin one after the kissing. — Well, I never expected it! What a surprise! Now then, have a good look at me! Just as handsome as you always were! Just the same dear soul and dandy! Ah, good Lord! Well, and what of you? Rich? Married? I am married already, as you see… This here is my wife, Luisa, née Wanzenbach… a Lutheran… And this is my son, Nafanail, third form. This, Nafanya, is the friend of my childhood! We were at school together!

Nafanail thought a little and took off his cap.

— We were at school together! — the thin one went on. — Do you remember what they used to call you? They called you Herostratus, because you burnt a government book with a cigarette, and me they called Ephialtes, because I liked telling tales. Ho-ho… Children we were! Don't be shy, Nafanya! Go closer to him… And this is my wife, née Wanzenbach… a Lutheran.

Nafanail thought a little and hid behind his father's back.

— Well, how's life, my friend? — asked the fat one, gazing at his friend in delight. — In the service somewhere? Risen far?

— In the service, my dear man! Collegiate assessor these two years, and I have the Stanislas. The pay is poor… but never mind! My wife gives music lessons, and I make cigar-cases privately, out of wood. Splendid cigar-cases! A rouble apiece I sell them for. If anyone takes ten or more, then there's a reduction, you understand. We rub along somehow. I was in the department, you know, and now I have been transferred here as head clerk in the same line… I shall be serving here. Well, and you? A state councillor by now, I don't doubt? Eh?

— No, my dear man, pitch it higher than that, — said the fat one. — I have risen to privy councillor already… I have two stars.

The thin one turned suddenly pale, went rigid, but soon his face twisted away in every direction in the broadest of smiles; it seemed that sparks were showering from his face and from his eyes. He himself shrank, stooped, narrowed… His trunks and bundles and hatboxes shrank and puckered… His wife's long chin grew longer still; Nafanail drew himself up to attention and fastened every button of his uniform…

— I, your Excellency… Delighted, sir! A friend, one might say, of childhood, and here you have come out such a grandee, sir! Hee-hee, sir.

— Come, that will do! — the fat one winced. — What is this tone for? You and I are friends from childhood — and what call is there here for rank-worship!

— Mercy on us… What are you, sir… — the thin one tittered, shrinking further still. — The gracious attention of your Excellency… like a life-giving moisture, as it were… This here, your Excellency, is my son Nafanail… my wife Luisa, a Lutheran, in a manner of speaking…

The fat one was about to object to something, but on the thin one's face there was written such reverence, such sweetness, such deferential acid, that the privy councillor's stomach turned. He turned away from the thin one and gave him his hand in parting.

The thin one pressed three fingers, bowed with his whole trunk, and tittered like a Chinaman: "hee-hee-hee." His wife smiled. Nafanail scraped his foot and dropped his peaked cap. All three were pleasantly stunned.

Translator's log

The R06 log (T-tolstyi-i-tonkii-R06-v1 L1–L8) stands unaltered and is not repeated. This log records the revision and then a registered prediction.

L9 — what the second pass against the Russian changed, and it is six things.

Also: cap → peaked cap at «фуражку», to keep it distinct from «шапку» eight paragraphs earlier; I'll be serving here → I shall be serving here.

L10 — REGISTERED PREDICTION, written before any evaluation of this translation was designed and before any seat of any kind was called. The design that will use these texts is not yet written. Following RS-20260807d §L9's precedent and its correction (§4.5 and §6 limit 8): the project has never rendered either of these two stories before — checked against workshop/translations/ — so this prediction is not standing on an earlier log of the lead's own.

Of the ten spoken utterances in this story, I predict that three independent readers shown only the Russian will call the following DISCORDANT — the content pulling against the standing the grammar claims:

• TT08 «Я, ваше превосходительство… Очень приятно-с! … Хи-хи-с.»
• TT10 «Помилуйте… Что вы-с… … некоторым образом…»

and the remaining eight CONCORDANT. In particular I predict TT09 («Ну, полно! … к чему тут это чинопочитание!») will come back CONCORDANT even though the speaker is a privy councillor giving an order — because the ты and the content both claim intimacy, and RS-20260807d §4.5 found that the seats read the sentence's grammar and not the situation. That is the prediction I am least sure of.

Contamination measurement

Run after both artifacts were committed, against Constance Garnett's Fat and Thin (The Tales of Chekhov vol. 13, Love and Other Stories, Chatto & Windus 1922; Project Gutenberg #13414), which was extracted to a sealed file by script and not opened until then. Figures and the length-matched independent-pair comparator are recorded in workshop/experiments/E-20260808b-discordant-marking/ and reproduced in the result page.