Repository path: workshop/translations/silver-blaze-ja/R06-v1/translation.md · rendered 2026-09-09

T-silver-blaze-ja-R06-v1 — Doyle, "Silver Blaze" (1892), the Mapleton scene, into Japanese

Source. Arthur Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze", The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (1892), public domain; copy-text Project Gutenberg #834, stored whole at wiki/base/anchors/A-mikami-silver-blaze/silver-blaze-doyle-1892-en.txt. The span rendered is the Mapleton stables scene, from "We had not to go far." to "…and we set off for King's Pyland." — 501 English words, the scene in which Silas Brown's footing toward Holmes reverses.

Regime. R06 lead single pass, source-only, no revision. Target language: Japanese. The project's sixth filed translation whose target is not English.

Cost. $0 — lead translation is never ledgered (charter §3, A4).

Contamination: suspected, and the basis is stated rather than measured at freeze time. The lead has certainly read Doyle's English; whether it has memorised any Japanese rendering of it is what tools/dependence_check_cjk.py will measure after this file is frozen, against 三上於菟吉 1930 and 大久保ゆう 2021, and the measurement is reported on the anchor page and on the result page. The measurement cannot precede the artifact here, because the artifact and the comparators are in the same language and there is nothing to compare until the Japanese exists. This is why this rendering is excluded from every registered primary of E-20260815d — it is a craft artifact and a decision record, not an independent hand.

Hypothesis-aware. The lead wrote this knowing the question the study limb asks. Declared here, declared on the design, and the reason the independent hands are elsewhere.

The translation

遠くまで行く必要はなかった。足跡はメイプルトン厩舎の門へ通じるアスファルトの舗装のところで終わっていた。近づいていくと、門から馬丁がひとり駆け出してきた。

「ここらをうろつかれちゃ困るんだがね」と男は言った。

「ちょっと伺いたいことがあるだけです」とホームズは言い、チョッキのポケットに指と親指を差し入れた。「明朝五時にお訪ねしたら、ご主人のサイラス・ブラウンさんにお目にかかるには早すぎるでしょうか」

「とんでもない、旦那。誰か起きているとすればあの人ですよ、いつだって一番先に起き出すんですから。おや、ちょうどご本人がおいでになった、旦那、直々にお答えくださいますよ。いえ、旦那、いけません。旦那の金に手を出すところをあの人に見られたら、私はここに置いてもらえなくなります。あとでなら、よろしいですが」

シャーロック・ホームズがポケットから出しかけていた半クラウン銀貨をしまうと、獰猛そうな面構えの初老の男が、狩猟用の鞭を手にぶら下げて門から大股に出てきた。

「なんだ、ドースン！」と男は怒鳴った。「無駄口を叩くな！　仕事に戻れ！　――で、貴様、ここに何の用だ」

「十分ばかりお話をと存じまして、旦那様」と、ホームズはこの上なく優しい声で言った。

「そこらをぶらつく奴といちいち話している暇はない。よそ者に用はないんだ。失せろ、でないと犬をけしかけるぞ」

ホームズは身を乗り出して、調教師の耳に何ごとかを囁いた。相手は激しく身を震わせ、こめかみまで真っ赤になった。

「嘘だ！」と男は叫んだ。「まっ赤な嘘だ！」

「結構。ではその件、この往来で言い合いますか、それともお宅の居間で相談しますか」

「……入りたけりゃ入れ」

ホームズは微笑した。「数分で済むよ、ワトソン」と彼は言った。「さてブラウンさん、こちらはいつでも結構ですよ」

二十分が過ぎ、赤みがすっかり灰色に沈んでから、ホームズと調教師は姿を現した。あれほどの変わりようを私は見たことがない。顔は蒼白で、額には汗の玉が光り、手は震えて、狩猟鞭が風に吹かれる枝のように揺れていた。あの威圧するような、人を見下した態度もすっかり消え失せ、男は主人に従う犬のように、私の友の脇をへつらいながらついてきた。

「仰せのとおりにいたします。何もかも、仰せのとおりに」と男は言った。

「間違いがあってはならんぞ」とホームズは振り返って言った。相手はその目の中の脅しを読み取ってたじろいだ。

「いえいえ、間違いなど決して。きっとお届けいたします。その前に手を加えておきましょうか、それともそのままにいたしましょうか」

ホームズは少し考えて、それから声を立てて笑った。「いや、やめておけ」と彼は言った。「その件は手紙で知らせる。妙な真似はするなよ、さもないと――」

「はい、お任せください、どうかお任せください！」

「うむ、任せられそうだ。では明日、こちらから知らせる」ホームズは踵を返し、相手が差し出した震える手には目もくれず、我々はキングズ・パイランドへ向けて歩き出した。

Translator's log

Written as the draft was written, frozen with it. Decisions and alternatives, not quality claims.

The standing condition of the whole span. English marks social footing nowhere in its grammar. Japanese marks it in the predicate, compulsorily, at every finite verb in every utterance. So this rendering is not carrying a source mark across; it is manufacturing a mark at every utterance, and the only question a translator can actually ask is what am I reading it off? Each numbered decision below records that: the site, the level chosen, and what in the text I took the level from.

D1. 「ここらをうろつかれちゃ困るんだがね」 (the groom, first utterance). English: "We don't want any loiterers about here." No addressee marking of any kind. I chose 常体 with a familiar sentence-final 〜んだがね. What I read it off: loiterers — he has classified Holmes as a person of no standing, and the classification is in the noun, not in the address. Alternative considered: 丁寧体 with a brusque content (「困りますよ」), which is what a servant of a large establishment would more probably say to an unknown gentleman on the road, and which would have made the reversal at D4 much larger. I did not take it, and the fact that the choice was live is the point of this entry.

D2. 「伺いたい」「ご主人」「お目にかかる」「ブラウンさん」 (Holmes to the groom, about Brown). The English is "your master, Mr. Silas Brown". Japanese made me grade two relations at once in one sentence: Holmes→groom (I chose 丁寧体, 「あるだけです」) and Holmes→Brown-as-referent (I chose 謙譲語 伺う and 尊敬 ご主人／お目にかかる). English has one word, master, doing the second job and nothing doing the first. This is the clearest single site in the span where Japanese demands information the English sentence does not contain, and I supplied it from the fact that Holmes is buying the groom with a half-crown: a man about to tip you is polite to you.

D3. 「旦那」×3 (the groom to Holmes, second utterance). English has sir three times. This is the one place in the span where the English does mark, and it is lexical, not grammatical. I carried it with 旦那 and 丁寧体 throughout. Note against §10.1: the mark crossed because the source handed over a noun — the same Class 1 mechanism that is the only thing published hands carry out of Japanese.

D4. The groom's own reversal. D1 is dismissive and D3 is servile, and nothing in between is said to him: he simply sees the half-crown. I marked the difference at two full levels (常体 → 丁寧体＋旦那). Nothing in the English words changed; the money changed.

D5. 「貴様」 (Brown to Holmes, first utterance). English: "And you, what the devil do you want here?" The second person is the bare unmarked you. Japanese has no unmarked second person that can sit in this sentence, and I had to choose from 貴様／てめえ／お前／あんた, which run from open insult to mere familiarity. I took 貴様, the top of the contempt range, and I took it from what the devil and from the hunting-crop, not from the pronoun. Alternative: お前, which would have been merely rough. Recorded because RS-20260813e measured the same forced choice in the other direction, where five hands rendering 手前 all produced plain English you and none showed that it was one word.

D6. 「旦那様」「存じまして」 (Holmes to Brown, first utterance). English: "Ten minutes' talk with you, my good sir," said Holmes in the sweetest of voices. The narration says the tone is sweet and the reader is meant to hear it as ironic. I used 謙譲語 存じる and 旦那様 — a level so far above what Holmes owes a trainer that the irony is audible in the form itself. In English the irony is in the narration (in the sweetest of voices); in my Japanese it is in the verb. If a reader of the Japanese hears no irony, that is because I moved the signal from the narrator's clause into the predicate, and the predicate can carry it only if the reader knows what Holmes owes a trainer.

D7. 「失せろ」「けしかけるぞ」 (Brown, second utterance). Imperative 失せろ and the 〜ぞ ending. Read off Be off, or you may find a dog at your heels — the English is doing this lexically (be off, the dog), and Japanese lets me put it in the inflection as well, so the utterance is marked twice where the English is marked once. This is §10.5's addition problem arriving from the other side: the target's grammar makes the mark unavoidable and therefore makes it louder.

D8. 「……入りたけりゃ入れ」 (Brown, the pivot). English: "Oh, come in if you wish to." This is the utterance the whole scene turns on, and the English is almost neutral — a shrug. I kept 常体 and a plain imperative but dropped the contempt marker (no 貴様, no 〜ぞ), and put the yielding into the leading ellipsis, which is punctuation and not grammar. The alternative was to reverse here, at the moment Brown gives way, rather than after the twenty minutes in the parlour. I chose to reverse after the narration says he has changed, because that is where Doyle puts it — and this is a prediction about the other hands, registered at P-L1 below.

D9. 「仰せのとおりにいたします」 (Brown, first post-reversal utterance). English: "Your instructions will be done. It shall all be done." A flat English passive with no politeness in it at all. I used 仰せ (an honorific noun for the addressee's words) and いたす (謙譲). That is two deference devices in a sentence whose English has none, and I took both from one narrative sentence forty words earlier: he cringed along at my companion's side like a dog with its master.

D10. 「お任せください」 (Brown, last utterance). "Oh, you can trust me, you can trust me!" → 尊敬 お〜ください. English you can trust me is an assertion; Japanese お任せください is a request for a favour from a superior. The illocution changed to let the deference through, which is a cost and is recorded as one.

D11. Holmes to Brown after the reversal is 常体 and stays 常体. 「やめておけ」「するなよ」 「知らせる」. He was elaborately polite before (D6) and is curt after — the mirror image of Brown. I did not plan this; it fell out of rendering each utterance from its own scene, and I am recording it because it makes Holmes→Brown a within-scene control for anything found on Brown→Holmes.

D12. Narration is 常体 (である／た) throughout, Watson's first person 私, and no honorific anywhere in the narration — including on Holmes, whom Watson admires. Alternative: 三上's period would license 敬体 narration in places. Not taken; the register decision is uniform so that all the footing variance in this artifact sits in the dialogue.

Registered before the comparators were opened

Frozen with this file. These are predictions about other hands, not claims about this one.

• P-L1. The reversal in Brown's marking will be placed after the parlour narration (i.e. at D9), not at the pivot utterance D8, by every hand that reverses at all.
• P-L2. The sites where hands will disagree are D1 (the groom's opening level) and D8 (the pivot), because in both the English words are neutral and the scene is ambiguous. The sites where hands will agree are D3 (the English supplies sir), D5 and D9 (the narration is explicit).
• P-L3. The English words alone, read without the scene, will separate Brown's pre- from his post-reversal utterances partially — be off / you may find a dog at your heels is audible without context and there shall be no mistake is not. So a full-scene hand should reverse more sharply than an utterance-only hand, but not from nothing.

(These three sentences are the only evaluative-adjacent statements in this log and they are predictions, not quality claims; no sentence here says this rendering is good. internal-judgment-only is not invoked because no judgment is asserted.)